A Shadow Falls On The Soul

Song Background

How can we move forward without healing our Shadows?

I was living and playing music in Hamburg Germany. Gigs often went to 4 AM and when winter hit I slowly became a vampire. It was dark. Plus there was the news from home. A close family friend was dying of Leukemia leaving behind 3 children – and it seemed like mass shooting after shooting was becoming commonplace. I was falling back in to depression. My European friends would ask me what’s going on and I was at a loss. In the states we sometimes don’t realize how bombarded we are with media and may become desensitized to it. Seeing it from overseas opened up a whole new perspective for me…It was from this frustration that ‘Shadows’ emerged.

Can we create a world that works for all of our needs?

Community, belonging, connection: these are all essential for healthy people to thrive. But our culture with it’s emphasis on status and wealth often excludes those on the fringes. (The moment we find ourselves in today is really exemplifying that). We don’t teach vulnerability, especially to men, and feelings can become too shameful to express. This creates a lurking undertone of loneliness masked by bravado and hate that when unleashed can devastate lives.

Having studied Indigenous plant medicines I know first hand there are means of deep healing that are being suppressed. I believe it is time to see vulnerability as a pathway to true strength. I wrote ‘Shadows’ to expose my Frustration and Pain and release those feelings. When I give that gift to myself I am much more able to give to others.

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Bringing Our Shadow Into The Light

After returning from Europe I teamed up with my friend and amazing director Alex Engel to make the video. I went over the Alex’s apartment in Brooklyn and he was there with art director Phoebe Doran. After throwing ideas around for a while it all came together quickly. We took a walk to the art store and got a bunch of paints and paper mâché. Alex set up a black background, a drop cloth, some lighting and just blasted the song as I sang it over and over at full volume while staring straight into the camera. Then Alex edited in some b-roll footage he shot of Actor Ray Karl playing a homeless man with a mental illness that blended into the story line perfectly.

From the video’s opening frame my stare is meant to have you locked in as my face proceeds to transform into a host of Shadow figures. You’ll see Phoebe’s hands there to represent the hidden feminine energy of creation that is trying to emerge and be integrated. Ray’s portrayal of the homeless man represents the parts of ourselves we don’t want to look at that can lead when extreme to mental illness.

So now I ask you what’s your unique place of true self expression? How do you bring your gift into this world? Again this is a brand new page. Feel free to be one of the first to leave a comment…

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